Cycling Jokes

Cycling Jokes
Cycling Jokes 2018-01-26T01:41:29-08:00

A pedestrian steps off the curb and into the road without looking and promptly gets knocked flat by a passing cyclist.
“You were really lucky there,” says the cyclist.
“What on earth are you talking about! That really hurt!” says the pedestrian, still on the pavement, rubbing his head.
The cyclist replies, “Well, usually I drive a bus!”

Q: What do you call a professional cyclist who just broke up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless

Two nerds are riding along on a tandem bicycle when, suddenly, the one in the front slams the brakes, gets off and starts letting air out of the tyres.
The one in the back yells out, “Hey! Why are you doing that?!”
 The first nerd says, “My seat was too high and was hurting my butt. I wanted to lower it a bit.”
So the one in the back has had enough. He jumps off, loosens his own seat and spins it round to face the other direction.
 Now it’s the first guy’s turn to wonder what’s going on. “What are you doing?” he asks his friend.
“Look, mate,” says the rider in the back, “if you’re going to do stupid stuff like that, I’m going home!!”

Q: Why do bicycles fall over?
A: Because they are two tyred

Since things turned sour with my wife a fortnight ago, I’ve taken to riding 50 miles a day to clear my head. I’m now 700 miles from home and feeling much happier.

Q. Do you know what’s the hardest part of learning to ride a bike?
A. The pavement.

A cyclist lying on his deathbed asked his best friend to do him a favour when he’d gone. “Anything,” replied his friend.
“Just don’t let my wife to sell my bike for the price I told her I paid for” he begged.

I rode my bicycle to the liquor store on Tuesday afternoon, bought a bottle of Jack Daniels and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So without any hesitation I drank all the Jack Daniels before I cycled back home. It turned out to be a very good decision, because i fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home – shared by Frank H.  

  • 1